Inglorious Bastards: Review
Posted by: Roberto Azula / Category: Dulce Et Decorum Est, Failed Message Movies
Clumsy and not remotely shocking, I’m puzzled why Inglorious Bastards has acquired its cult status. The “counter-culture” World War II movie has been done before, and to better results, such as Cross of Iron, The Dirty Dozen, and Kelly’s Heroes. Inglorious Bastards, on the other hand, is a terribly boring film, with its piss poor combat scenes, which resembled bang bang shoot shoot games little kids play. You know, where you jump out randomly from where you’re taking cover, and everyone seems to having a good time. The sudden, arbitrary scene shifts don’t necessarily make this film incoherent, but it’s pretty downright amateurish.
There is very little in way of drama in this film. Five American soldiers on their way to prison or the firing squad escape after their convoy is ambushed by a German airplane in the film’s first contrivance. After that, the five men enjoy a merry jaunt through the French countryside, interrupted by props such as pesky German soldiers and a plot complication involving the French resistance. Ho hum. The acting is atrocious, and not even Fred Williamson (the only competent actor in the crew) can save the wooden dialogue deliveries. You get your usual cast of squad of stereotypes: the level headed lieutenant who appoints himself leader (the colorless Robert Yeager), an obnoxious troublemaker (Peter Hooten), Shaft, some hippie with the worst Italian accent I’ve ever heard (Michael Pergolani in a wig and fake mustache because you know, he’s Italian, mama mia!), and the coward (Jackie Basehart, always needing to take a piss). The editing is dreadful, draining any tension or humor from this film.
The colors are vivid and bright, showing what a jolly good time war is. At one point, the men run into ten naked women swimming in a lake. When the women figure out the men are American, they go after their machine guns and start shooting at the men. That scene was kind of cool, but it’s quickly over. Move on. Suddenly, the men discover some German uniforms (not explanation there). More ridiculous, good time gunplay. Then they run into French partisans, one helpfully wearing the symbol of the French resistance on a white armband. Cue in “La Marseillaise.” When an American colonel begins speaking with Robert Yeager, the talk begins at the dead of night, and then in the next scene the conversation concludes in the middle of the day. It’s that poorly edited.
I’m not sure why Quentin Tarantino decided to remake Inglorious Bastards. Maybe he’ll do a better job than this unfunny mess. But then again, I’ve always thought it made sense to redo badly made films. Good luck, QT!
Tags: inglorious bastards
August 29th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
[...] note: Inglorious Basterds bears almost zero connection to its namesake, Inglorious Bastards, a far inferior 70s flick that I reviewed earlier). Bookmark and Share: sociallist_f86883d1_url [...]