The Low Down on Low Down Cinema

A personal message from Roberto Azula, your friendly and self-appointed editor-in-chief.

Oh dear God in Heaven, not another smarmy film review site, written by a buncha hipsters who think they’re the last word in film criticism. Run for your life!

Not to worry! Low Down Cinema is not smarmy, not hip, and not the last word. But Lord have mercy, we do love movies! What’s not to love? High drama, comedy, romance, severed limbs, undead Nazis, horribly garbled mixed messages, inappropriate touching, poorly-aimed missiles. Movies are a grand experience.

I discovered my awesome taste in film when I was but a wee lad, wise beyond me years. You see, I went to high school and wasted most of my 20s in suburban Atlanta. That meant shitty Blockbuster Videos. You know the kind…they never fail to have Red Scorpion 2 and the entire Police Academy series in stock, but God forbid they have anything watchable. The only decent DVD selection for suburban Atlanteans was all the way downtown: Blast Off Video, Movies Worth Seeing, and Videodrome (and later on, I discovered Buford Highway’s treasure trove of Hong Kong action videos). Naturally, I was the only dude in my group of friends willing to make the haul, so I became the de facto DVD Wheel Man. Christ, it was a royal pain. And no, no one chipped in for gas or the price of the rental, the cheap bastards.

And I had to pick the DVD for a fairly tough crowd—a buncha of stoned out jokers who demanded plenty of violence and wtf storylines. Mainstream movies just didn’t cut the mustard. So, I did my best under the circumstances, and I eventually got pretty good at unearthing the gems. I’m proud to say I turned my crew on to such masterpieces such as Tai Chi Master, Gojoe, and The Manchurian Candidate (the original). Of course, I occasionally rented some bona fide turkeys as well, including Tank Girl and Vulgar. Oh man, I was never able to live that last one down. I swear, no matter how many great movies I rented, my friends would always bring up fucking Vulgar.

DO NOT WATCH Vulgar, for the love of God.

Anyway, a few years back, I got into the habit of writing down my reviews on the Facebook app Flixter, and it became a hobby for me. As Facebook got progressively more obnoxious, and Flixster’s interface got progressively more unintuitive, I thought it best I start Low Down Cinema. But I’m still very grateful to Flixster and Facebook for getting me in touch with Kevin McCormick, who is the real deal, no joke. Keep an eye on this kid…he’s gonna be the next Walter Chaw. (Filmfreakcentral.net is still the gold standard as far as I’m concerned).

Low Down Cinema is geared for happy go lucky movie lovers who are looking for something a little more off beat, challenging, bizarre, bloody, shocking, prurient, uncalled for, stupefying, or romantic. If you love movies as much as we do, you’ll just fall in love with Low Down Cinema. We guarantee it!

My name is Roberto Azula. Let’s be friends!

Roberto Azula in “Ninja Maki Roll”

Feel free to drop Roberto Azula a line at … roberto -at- lowdowncinema.com. You’ll be glad you did!